In retrospect...

I have written here a long post on how upset I was with my husband's attitude during my pregnancy and delivery... Now that all my anger has been poured out I had to do a post on why I still love my dear husband and the ways in which he expresses his love for me...

A couple of days back one of my post-office investment done many years back was due for redemption.. The investment was done in my maiden name.. I did change my name after my marriage coz I wanted one name for the family.. I did not want my husband and children to have one name and me an altogether different name... So I sent all the investment documents alongwith the proof of name change with my husband.... He had to wait in all those endless queues and present my documents at the counter... He was then asked to get the original name change documents coz the authorities wanted to have a look at the originals...
He came back home all the way, took the originals, went back to the post-office again stood in those long queues and got the job done... He also dropped the cheque in my bank on his way back... The post office is a good 10km from my place and with all the traffic it was taking him 45 mins to an hour each way....He spent nearly 5 hours and got me my money....
All this inspite of the fact that we manage our investments separately... He could have very well asked me to get my money redeemed on my own...
I was saved all the trouble of going to the post-office where the crowd is something that I cannot handle...
The ways in which he expresses his love and care is not the kind where he presents me with roses and cards or takes me for candle-lit dinners...
When we were newly married he insisted that I learn to ride a two-wheeler so that I could be on my own. The public transport in the city that I live in is no good...
I didn't know cycling so the thought of riding a two-wheeler was scary...
He was more confident that he could teach me to ride than I was to learn to ride...
So we bought a brand new two-wheeler and he set to the task of teaching me... I was a very slow learner... He spent so many mornings in my two-wheeler lessons... He went to office without breakfast for days together during those days.. We would get up in the mornings, go for my lessons for an hour or so, come back and get ready and go to work... Once I got the balance getting me to ride on the roads was such a challenge for him.... All this while I was throwing tantrums that he was being cruel to me by asking me to ride on the roads in all the traffic...
He would hear nothing of all that... And well when I did started riding on my own it was as though I had grown wings... Life became so much easier when I did not have to depend on the auto guys... I would just take my bike and zip across the city to get my work done... All thanks to dear husband...
Our 5 years of marriage before I got pregnant was such a fun-filled roller-coaster ride... It was then that I realized that 5 years had fled by and I needed to start thinking about a baby...
We lived like bachelors the first 2 years of our marriage... A carefree life doing what we wanted to do.... We booked an under-construction apartment immediately after getting married and for the first 2 years lived in a small rented house... It was just like a bachelors paradise... I did not have the task of maintaining a big house...
We never cooked much at home... Breakfast was cereals, lunch was at work, dinner was maggi/cereals/upma at the max or eaten out...
We always ate out on weekends... We did try and maintain our health when eating out so much... It used to usually be dal roti or something healthy like palak paneer or so...
And our weekends were action packed... One day we stepped out of a restaurant after lunch and my husband just whisked me away for a long ride in his bike... We rode for atelast 50km before we decided to get back...Another time we went to fill up fuel for my two-wheeler and ended up making a tour of the city...
MM even today is not picky abt food... I am not a good cook and he has never complained abt it..
Dal, rice and sabji on a weekend is like a feast and is well appreciated...
Whatever simple things I make like idli/dosa and chutney is really relished...
He even praises my chutney to his family... He tells them that I make the best chutney on earth :)...
He has never let me down in front of his family... Always stands by me and creates a very good impression about me in their minds... I certainly feel I am blessed when he does that coz I am not the most dutiful DIL...
I had not done any kind of adventure activities till I was married to him... It started on right from our honeymoon... We had been to Goa... Our days were packed with sea-sports, parasailing, etc.. The best part of our trip was that we hired a Kine and explored so much of Goa on our own...Did not stay locked in our rooms and do what typical honeymooners ought to do ;)..
Again he took efforts to get me into car-driving... We hired a driver to teach me... He woke up early in the morning on his weekends and came along for the first few sessions till I was comfortable with the driver...
He always encourages me to do well in my career... He keeps saying that his dream is to see me as an Indira Nooyi or a Naina Lal Kidwai :))....
He initiated me into gymming and exercising and maintaining a healthy diet... I had never done any of this before my marriage...I am on the higher side of the scale... He came along and enrolled me in a gym and boy I had slimmed down so much during the first few months after my wedding... It felt so good to have a trim body...
He always comes along to buy my dresses, goes around the shop and picks something good...
I certainly like his choice of dresses for me...
I can go on and on and on with this....
To sum it up, he cannot express his love in mushy ways... On second thoughts I think it won't suit him either... I cannot imagine him going down on his knees, presenting me with a surprise gift, or doing any of those things that is said to woo a woman...
He is this rough and tough guy with his broad chest and well toned biceps..( Man he is damn serious about his work-outs).
So here while I am still very disappointed that I did not get that "special attention and care" during my pregnancy and delivery( that is going to last a lifetime :) ) I cannot help looking at the positive side of MM's personality and be happy that I have got him as my husband..
MM now does spend time with PC and its great fun to watch them play... MM holds PC by his two small legs and drags him all over the bed which PC enjoys so much...
While I was devastated with MM's behaviour in the initial days he is slowly compensating for them... And as I wrote in my last post I know he is going to make a terrific father for older babies..
I have to excuse him and look forward for brighter days :))... Is that what love is ? Accept someone as is, forgive and forget their shortcomings ?